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Critter News

No one dives into a good animal story deeper than I do. Rescuing animals and helping to save endangered species is one of my greatest passions in life. So naturally, when I saw a way to begin stringing interesting, engaging stories about animal rescues and viral videos which would normally serve as a single kicker for the newscast into a more elaborate set of tales– a lot of other tails began wagging.

What does a script for Critter News look like? Here’s a sample:

[ Critter News Open ]
CALLING ALL COUCH POTATOES!
YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT THIS MILWAUKEE HOMEOWNER FOUND STUCK IN THE COUCH CUSHIONS…. A 20-FOOT-LONG BOA CONSTRICTOR!
[SOT  Raiders of the Lost Ark  ] “Snakes. Why’d it have to be snakes!”
YEAH, THIS SLITHERY SEAT CUSHION ISN’T EXACTLY COMFY TO SIT ON!
NOT EXACTLY WHAT THEY HAD IN MIND WHEN LOOKING FOR SOME SOFA SNACKS.
NO IDEA HOW THE SNAKE GOT THERE, BUT NO ONE IN THIS HOME WANTED TO CURL UP NEXT TO THE ENORMOUS CREATURE!
[SOT The Last Crusade  ] “I hate snakes!”
THE HOMEOWNER GAVE THIS GUY THE BIG SQUEEZE….TO A NEW ZIP CODE!
[ Critter News Transition ]
SPEAKING OF SURPRISES….OH, DEER!
GUESS WHAT HAPPENED ON THIS BUSY ROAD IN RUSSIA….
[Nats       ] “Grandma got run over by a reindeer!”
WELL, NO…..BUT CLOSE.
ONE OF SANTA’S REINDEER DECIDED CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY AND MADE A CLEAN BREAK FROM A ZOO!
THE RESTLESS REINDEER GOT SO JAZZED ABOUT HIS REINDEER GAMES HE EVEN SMASHED A CAR WINDSHIELD ON THE ROAD ALONG HIS ESCAPE ROUTE.
IT TOOK ONE OF SANTA’S HELPERS ON HORSEBACK AN HOUR AND A HALF TO FINALLY CORRAL THE DESPERATE DEER AND GET HIM BACK TO THE ZOO.
NO WORD ON WHAT PUNISHMENT HE MIGHT FACE FROM OLE SAINT NICK, THOUGH.
[SOT  Rudolph  ] “Nothin’!”
[ Critter News Transition ]
UP NEXT….HERE’S SOMETHING TO *BEAR* IN MIND WHEN VISITING THE NOTORIOUS STANLEY HOTEL IN COLORADO!
[SOT  The Shining  ]  “Here’s Johnny!”
YEAH, THIS WILD BEAR RECENTLY WANDERED RIGHT INTO THE LOBBY OF THE HOTEL MADE FAMOUS FOR INSPIRING AUTHOR STEPHEN KING’S TERRIBLE TALE– THE SHINING!
[SOT  The Shining  ] “Redrum!”
NOPE, THIS BIG FELLA DIDN’T CHECK INTO ROOM  ?
HOWEVER, HE DID SEEM TO MAKE HIMSELF FEEL RATHER COMFY.
[SOT  The Shining  ] “Wendy, I’m home.”
BUT AFTER HE DECIDED TO SCRAM….HE DIDN’T SEEM *BEARY* HAPPY.
OH WELL…..GUESS THIS IS ONE HOTEL EVEN BEARS TAKE A *SHINING* TO!
[ Critter News Transition ]
FINALLY….ALSO IN THE ROCKIES…..TALK ABOUT GOING TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH TO FIND A LOST POOCH!
THIS POOR POOCH, A GOLDENDOODLE NAMED ‘BENTLEY’ – MATTED AND FULL OF BURRS…..RAN OFF WHEN A FATAL CAR CRASH KILLED HIS OWNER AFTER THE VEHICLE FELL 600 FEET DOWN A MOUNTAINSIDE IN COLORADO!
IRONICALLY, THE DOG NAMED AFTER A CAR SURVIVED THE DEVASTATING CRASH, THOUGH BENTLEY WAS THROWN FROM THE VEHICLE.
AFTER ALL BENTLEY’S BEEN THROUGH….IT’S NICE TO SEE HE’S A FURRY REMINDER TO NEVER GIVE UP ON FINDING A LOST FURRY FRIEND!

Not every finished product turns out exactly like the script….sometimes because of time constraints, but you get the idea of where I’m generally coming from when I wrote this popular web and broadcast series.

We created ‘Critter News’ in 2016 and continued it right up until the very last newscast. Here is that final Critter News, plus another one for good measure. Enjoy!

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